Why I've Considered Quitting......

[ahred strange indeed]

"Christian" hip hop.

15 + years up in this piece and junk still ain't right. we've all worked long and hard to 'make it happen' and we all are still working; 9 - 5's, grindin on 'tour', a side hustle here, a freelance job there. none of us even close to gettin' paid a fraction of what it's cost us to get to this point, but I can deal with all that.

what's really caused me to consider 'leaving' christian music, I mean just going away mad and cussing the whole genre out, is all the triflin' b.s. I mean all the so-called BEEF. The whole idea that anyone outside our tiny little bubble gives a rat's booty (pun intended) about who dissed who. There's this attitude that seems to permeate our little culture, one of pertinence or even relevance. Like the world needs us, and the Hip Hop Nation is going to hizzle if we can't get our ish together. MAN, we make music! We don't save lives, we don't write songs that set people free, we RAP. WE RAP! That's all.

And God has blessed us with an extended adolescence that allows us to contribute, however we can, to the Kingdom of God.

It's God's sovereign grace that allows our words and beats to make it to the unbeliever at a point of choice, or to encourage a believer at the point of frustration. It's the Spirit of God that draws a man close to his Creator, not the lyric or style of our raps. It's by the grace of God that the world hasn't laughed itself tired of the whole idea of "Christian Rap". Think about it. I'm thirty-???? years old, still sagging my pants, writing rhymes on scraps of paper, sneaking away to the "studio" (cap's garage) to record. It feels like make-believe. But somehow, some way God uses it. Just music. David had just stones, but he knew they were just the tool, he fought the enemy in the Name of the God of Israel. Is that what we do? Because if it's not, we're not gonna kill any giants, just p!$$ 'em off good.

We should enjoy this extended adolescence, and even allow it to grow into young adulthood. But it should bring joy, not only to us, but to those hungry and thirsty for new flavors of life, living water. I've considered quitting before, even took some time off to focus on my family. But never have I felt so frustrated with Us! With our inability to take this opportunity, this slice of grace, and enjoy it for what it is.....a form of expression. God has placed within us a desire to express our love for Him, our appreciation of Life, our frustration with failure, anger at loss, brokeness in relationship. He's given us an opportunity to create an encounter with Him, to point the Way, make straight the Path. We are underachieving. we are wasting our chance. we are becoming a distraction if we are not being obedient to His Voice.

Maybe I'm writing/ranting to myself. Maybe I'm suffering from my own dillusions. I'm just frustrated that we can't see what's here for us.....an opportunity to build the Kingdom of God through our simple little raps, simple little rocks......... feel me?

[TakticOne]

haha - dude, I am so with you - i've been in the game for about half of your 15years... and i'll say this much...

when we sit around worrying about what everyone else is saying, thinking and doing we are rejecting this gift and embracing the 'fear of man' so to speak... im no authority on anything hhh but i know where i am, and im just putting my nose to the grindstone and loving my Jesus, loving my hiphop and getting the heck on with this life He's given me - it's way way way to short to get caught up in other peoples business if God's not in it...

'spek

[Ralphisrelentless]

"Christian" hip hop.

15 + years up in this piece and junk still ain't right. we've all worked long and hard to 'make it happen' and we all are still working; 9 - 5's, grindin on 'tour', a side hustle here, a freelance job there. none of us even close to gettin' paid a fraction of what it's cost us to get to this point, but I can deal with all that.

what's really caused me to consider 'leaving' christian music, I mean just going away mad and cussing the whole genre out, is all the triflin' b.s. I mean all the so-called BEEF. The whole idea that anyone outside our tiny little bubble gives a rat's booty (pun intended) about who dissed who. There's this attitude that seems to permeate our little culture, one of pertinence or even relevance. Like the world needs us, and the Hip Hop Nation is going to hizzle if we can't get our ish together. MAN, we make music! We don't save lives, we don't write songs that set people free, we RAP. WE RAP! That's all.

And God has blessed us with an extended adolescence that allows us to contribute, however we can, to the Kingdom of God.

It's God's sovereign grace that allows our words and beats to make it to the unbeliever at a point of choice, or to encourage a believer at the point of frustration. It's the Spirit of God that draws a man close to his Creator, not the lyric or style of our raps. It's by the grace of God that the world hasn't laughed itself tired of the whole idea of "Christian Rap". Think about it. I'm thirty-???? years old, still sagging my pants, writing rhymes on scraps of paper, sneaking away to the "studio" (cap's garage) to record. It feels like make-believe. But somehow, some way God uses it. Just music. David had just stones, but he knew they were just the tool, he fought the enemy in the Name of the God of Israel. Is that what we do? Because if it's not, we're not gonna kill any giants, just p!$$ 'em off good.

We should enjoy this extended adolescence, and even allow it to grow into young adulthood. But it should bring joy, not only to us, but to those hungry and thirsty for new flavors of life, living water. I've considered quitting before, even took some time off to focus on my family. But never have I felt so frustrated with Us! With our inability to take this opportunity, this slice of grace, and enjoy it for what it is.....a form of expression. God has placed within us a desire to express our love for Him, our appreciation of Life, our frustration with failure, anger at loss, brokeness in relationship. He's given us an opportunity to create an encounter with Him, to point the Way, make straight the Path. We are underachieving. we are wasting our chance. we are becoming a distraction if we are not being obedient to His Voice.

Maybe I'm writing/ranting to myself. Maybe I'm suffering from my own dillusions. I'm just frustrated that we can't see what's here for us.....an opportunity to build the Kingdom of God through our simple little raps, simple little rocks......... feel me?

very well put brother.....thank you.

[BillyBo]

ahred, you may have just given me a song concept. good words, man.

[illatwill]

I didn't come up here to argue, and I respect and admire your dedication for this community.
But honestly man, most of that stuff just sounds like a frustrated opinion. Its really hard to say what does and what doesn't lead people to Christ.
Music is a powerful tool. Extremely powerful.

I mean, whether its music about bustin gats or music about praising God, I think it 'stirs up' the spirit within us (whatever spirit that may be).


Remember Elijah? God asked him where he was at twice, and in Elijah's books, he was the only one obedient and faithful. But that was according tohis books, not God's. God had 7,000 left that hadn't kissed or worshipped Baal.

When we become statisticians we usally do so by our own measure. God's got a different book and number in mind.


Just a thought.

Peace

[BillyBo]

Its really hard to say what does and what doesn't lead people to Christ.

Bill, i wish i had the scriptures right now, but, unless i'm mistaken, the Word DOES say that only the Holy Spirit can lead men to Him. nothing we can do alone as finite humans will bring others to Christ. it may seem that way, and I even claim "through my music" i can show others Christ, but it's not ME or my music that actually brings them to belief and repentance, it is only the Holy Spirit.

[reSEARCH]

Word up Ahred!

Being around for a little bit, and seeing the egos that float around at spots like Flavorfest, and the Holy Hip Hop awards, it's comical how people think our little 'scene' or 'niche' is worth being arrogant over. In the grand scheme of eternity, HHH has barely reached relevance. It probably won't be until, as you said, these things are taken care of. Or like you said, until we shut up and rap!

Ahred, you're one of the few of us artists that "HHH" actually needs, and has needed. Thanks for doing what you've done, and please keep on.

-reSEARCH

[Tim Burton]

Thanks so much for sharing your heart. You speak a lot of truth with what you said.

It's funny how the church suffers from the same problems that our little scene does.

Let's hope that we can spark a change for better.

[illatwill]

Its really hard to say what does and what doesn't lead people to Christ.

Bill, i wish i had the scriptures right now, but, unless i'm mistaken, the Word DOES say that only the Holy Spirit can lead men to Him. nothing we can do alone as finite humans will bring others to Christ. it may seem that way, and I even claim "through my music" i can show others Christ, but it's not ME or my music that actually brings them to belief and repentance, it is only the Holy Spirit.

Word. The term 'being lead to Christ' is being used in a loose way here. There are different theological aspects of it (free will versus calvinism), but I believe you're right.
But here is my question, how are we to judge how and in which ways the holy Spirit is ALREADY moving in others lives? Thats why I used the phrase "stir up" as Paul did when speaking to Timothy.
It may be a seed that was planted when they were little, or YOU might be the one planting the seed. Either way, though we cant save them through atonement of sin, we can plant and water the seedsin their heart.

Thats all Im saying. And its a very miniscule thing to judge what happens from OUR perception. Though, as humans, we do it all the time.

[JustMe]

I share this same frustration. I have been guilty of that arrogance and pride at times as well. I recently wrote in my blog, that as much as I want to quit at times, I can't avoid the fact that hip-hop is what I know and God wants me to use what I know to glorify Him.

[Rhino]

Red... feel you man. I feel you with the HHH community and the church community. Sometimes I think we need balance and teaching to the artists of our scene...we hear one side pretty loud. We need to hear the other side as well. Too often our role is either diminished or exalted beyond what it needs to be. Our vision is too narrow on what ministry is. We become religious and in a box. HHH seems to be creating for itself the very box that the early cats reppin' christ fought so hard to break out of.

[Spoken Nerd]

I feel you my friend. It's pretty amazing how silly we can get when we become kings trying to exault ourselves as Gods in our isolated little world. These kind of problems plague not only every genre of music but every facet of life itself. I feel like a lot of cats work off of building illusion and they tend to lead the pack because it's easier to fake then to actually have integrity. What really encourages me is when I take my eyes off of the image (whether industry, group or idol) and look at the seeds that God is planting in lives through the music. Even if they seem small you better beleive that Christian hip hop changes lives. When I first came to know The Lord I was ministered to massively through the music of John Reuben, Listener, LA Symphony, Mars Ill and Furthermore. Those artist have poured into me more then they could ever know by doing nothing more then making Rap Music with a message. Anyways bro, I know how it is. You have a lot of good stuff to say so say it and don't be led astray by False hip hop Messiahs.

[ahred strange indeed]

Its really hard to say what does and what doesn't lead people to Christ.

Bill, i wish i had the scriptures right now, but, unless i'm mistaken, the Word DOES say that only the Holy Spirit can lead men to Him. nothing we can do alone as finite humans will bring others to Christ. it may seem that way, and I even claim "through my music" i can show others Christ, but it's not ME or my music that actually brings them to belief and repentance, it is only the Holy Spirit.

Word. The term 'being lead to Christ' is being used in a loose way here. There are different theological aspects of it (free will versus calvinism), but I believe you're right.
But here is my question, how are we to judge how and in which ways the holy Spirit is ALREADY moving in others lives? Thats why I used the phrase "stir up" as Paul did when speaking to Timothy.
It may be a seed that was planted when they were little, or YOU might be the one planting the seed. Either way, though we cant save them through atonement of sin, we can plant and water the seedsin their heart.

Thats all Im saying. And its a very miniscule thing to judge what happens from OUR perception. Though, as humans, we do it all the time.

Illwill,

bro, it's all good. I appreciate your responses, and I know where you're coming from. Believe me, that in the years invested in making music I've struggled with the concept of what is and isn't accomplished through music. We can debate the merits of Arminianism, Molinism, Calvinism, until the moon turns red. I'm not trying to make this a theological debate, I let Trey-Qel handle that. But what I am saying is that as a group, not individuals, we are failing to love each other as the Word commands. I'm not talking about achievement or impact in the "industry", I'm simply talking about between us as brothers. I don't see much love there, more of an "itchy trigger finger" mentality when it comes to responding to each other.

The other main point I was ranting to make; We take ourselves way too serious. Yeah, that's right I said it. We take ourselves way too serious. I've dedicated my adult life to this, and will continue to do so. But "this" isn't Hip hop music, the "this" I'm talking about is the Freedom that Christ died for us to have, the Freedom that the Church hasn't gotten hold of. the Freedom in Gal 5:1 that discourages us from going back to the trappings of the Law and making ourselves slaves to the methods of men. I've just found the best expression of this Freedom, for me, is in Hip hop.

I've battled, argued, almost fought, etc. over this mess. I've spent years taking it too serious. I've prayed, fasted, studied, wept, and prayed some more only to come to the conclusion that it's just music. But it's when we put it in God's hands that it becomes more. Like David with the stones, they were just rocks, but when put into obedient action and surrendered to the Lord, they became instruments/tools of deliverence. Music alone is nothing more than rocks in a riverbed, but in God's hands they become more. The significance comes from our surrender/obedience to God's voice. We shouldn't take our role in the process too serious. God's Grace is a puzzle to me, but I'm really leaning heavily on it when I put pen to paper. I have to just swing my slingshot and let it ride, I let God guide it's trajectory to hit it's intended target. We're just a vehicle, a cog in the machine, the process belongs to God. We just get to do our part, and hopefully we enjoy it. What a blessing to be able to still make music and gig, all the way to an African prison, into my late thirties. I get to hang out with my boys in other countries, see the world, etc. What a life!!!! I think we need to enjoy the process more and take it for what it is, a blessing.

[Freddie Flintsone]

I consider quitting at least 20 times a week....

The part you said about taking ourselves to seriously is definitely on point...I don't personally......

But have met people on my level who looked and treated me like I was lower that rat vomit...I'm there with you man, had record deals come and go...miserable royalty checks once a blue moon....and yet here I am. 30 yr old father of 2 two working as a computer tech to support my family and chase my rap dreams......I feel you bro......I friggin feel your pain!

[funkrabbit]

and yet here I am. 30 yr old father of 2 two working as a computer tech to support my family and chase my rap dreams

you young whipper-snappers!

[Freddie Flintsone]

and yet here I am. 30 yr old father of 2 two working as a computer tech to support my family and chase my rap dreams

you young whipper-snappers!

[Surreal]

Great post man!!!

I would love to see a smack dvd of holy hip hop beefs, ahh man it would be great comedy.

Honestly, and I know how this will be received, but like you said I'm not trying to please men, I don't like Holy Hip Hop(Christians Hip Hop) at all, sorry just doesn't sit well with me. It's a bogus sub genre and actually inhibits real genuine dialogue about faith.

Most dudes who are touring and touching people lives don't really consider themselves "Christian" rappers, they're just emcees and musicians.

Word

[Rhino]

and the whole "R&P" thing ... I kinda laugh at that ... like, "what are you afraid to say R&B like it's some big evil thing?" I heard some say they don't do "hip hop" but they do "hip hope"... What?

[ahred strange indeed]

I consider quitting at least 20 times a week....

The part you said about taking ourselves to seriously is definitely on point...I don't personally......

But have met people on my level who looked and treated me like I was lower that rat vomit...I'm there with you man, had record deals come and go...miserable royalty checks once a blue moon....and yet here I am. 30 yr old father of 2 two working as a computer tech to support my family and chase my rap dreams......I feel you bro......I friggin feel your pain!

Freddie - what keeps you makin moves? why haven't you quit? not that you should ever quit, but what keeps you movin?

[ahred strange indeed]

Great post man!!!

I would love to see a smack dvd of holy hip hop beefs, ahh man it would be great comedy.

Honestly, and I know how this will be received, but like you said I'm not trying to please men, I don't like Holy Hip Hop(Christians Hip Hop) at all, sorry just doesn't sit well with me. It's a bogus sub genre and actually inhibits real genuine dialogue about faith.

Most dudes who are touring and touching people lives don't really consider themselves "Christian" rappers, they're just emcees and musicians.

Word

I feel you on all points. It seems like you catch so much grief from "brothers" when you say you're just an artist. No matter how responsible your art is, if there's not a sunday school lesson in your rhymes, somehow you're considered a sell-out, or worse a "backslider" (I hate that freakin' term).

we need to understand, as a matter of social and cultural relevance, that art can exist for the sake of ART. some of us were/are designed to let our work speak for itself, not forcing our message into our art. there is a subtle difference that can be liberating. we don't have to evangelize through our music. our lifestyle fits the purpose of preaching much more powerfully. let the music alone.

much respect surreal, do ya thing pops.